I Was Once a Single Mother: Embracing Loneliness in Pregnancy and Parenting

Pregnancy is often depicted as a time of joy, filled with glowing moments and shared excitement. Yet, for me, as a young woman in my 20s, it became a journey marked by solitude—a lonely pregnancy that left me grappling with the weight of anticipation and uncertainty, without the comforting presence of a partner. As I navigated the quiet days and sleepless nights, I realized that motherhood would be a path I walked alone. It was during this challenging time that I began to unearth my strength and resilience, discovering that even in loneliness, there is a profound capacity for growth and love.

This is my story of becoming a single mother in my 20s, navigating the complexities of loneliness in both pregnancy and parenting.

Let me take you back to 2008. At that time, I was still very much like a child mentally—perhaps not mature enough, I would say. I was just beginning to experience the freedom of going out with friends, dancing in nightclubs, and relishing the vibrant nightlife that comes with being in your 20s. Growing up in a conservative, Catholic family, my parents had limited my outings, never allowing me to stay out late. As a child, I remember playing right in front of our home, careful to stay close so my parents wouldn’t worry and avoid being punished or grounded for days.

It was during one of those carefree nights that I met him. I remember people often saying he was a bit wild and crazy, but I was young and in love, and I didn’t want to listen. We started dating, and let’s be realistic—young people rarely heed the warnings of others.

Then, I found out I was pregnant.

The news of my pregnancy was the most beautiful revelation I could have received. My joy soared; I had always wanted children. As a little girl, I would often declare, “I’m going to have five kids when I’m older!” I would touch my belly, praying to God for a boy, perhaps because I am the eldest of two brothers in real life.

However, the euphoria of pregnancy quickly morphed into a stark reality. I was alone, without a partner to share the overwhelming love for the tiny human growing inside me. I longed for the moments when I could say, “Come closer, dear, feel him; he is kicking.” Instead, I felt isolated and ashamed, worried about what people would think of my single pregnancy. I questioned whether I would be able to embrace motherhood fully, feeling the absence of a supportive village around me.

Motherhood

My son entered this world on March 28, 2011. I must say, although I was in the surgery room alone and scared, surrounded by doctors and nurses attending to my C-section, I will never forget the feeling of holding my baby boy in my arms for the very first time. I may have been alone, but I had created that beautiful life.

Yet, the journey was far from easy. I was still living with my parents, which was hard in part because they wont see me mature enough to raise my child; I was also finishing my university degree, and faced with the pressing need to provide for my son. Everything felt dark and overwhelming. I experienced moments of frustration, where I felt trapped in a shadowy place, yearning for the freedom to parent my child without judgment. I often battled with my emotions, questioning whether I was doing a good job as a mother. With no plans in place, I felt lost, unsure of how to gain the independence necessary to provide everything my child deserved. Yet, I had my baby boy—he was my strength, my motivation, my reason to keep pushing forward. I began to understand my real Superpower: Being a MOM.

Countless sacrifices followed as I worked to give him the best life possible, facing single motherhood. Originally from Venezuela, I moved to Santiago, Chile, leaving my son behind in search of a better future for him. The pain of being apart was immense; as a mother, I felt I could not bear to be away from my child. After several months, fate—guided by God and the universe—brought us back together. After numerous trips I did to see him, we finally reunited and made plans to never be apart again -he was 6 years old-. Today, we are in Canada. I started a life from zero, but this time my son was with me and our little chihuahua. 

Now my story has changed, I have a beautiful baby girl, she is 14 months old, my son is a teenager and I'm married to my wonderful husband—the best partner I could have ever hoped for.

I genuinely believe that being a Mom is what made me who I AM. I cannot imagine who I would be without my son, my first love. He taught me that love truly exists, that failure is part of the journey, and that the future always awaits us, ready to offer everything we desire and more.

If you are a Single Mother today, I understand how you feel. Sometimes we feel hopeless, we can feel lost,  and we even find ourselves seeking for the perfect companion. Don’t despair,  single parenting can be hard but our immense love for our children does not have barriers and everything will come to you at the right time. - Be patient. You are doing great mom- 

My advice—something I wish I had during my first pregnancy, which was a lonely pregnancy —is to seek support. Surround yourself with other mothers, women who understand your struggles. Build that community, that village we all need. Whether you are pregnant, or already navigating life with a baby, toddler, or teenager, don’t hesitate to seek help.

This is why Espresso Mamitis exists. We create a space for you to be heard and seen, free from judgment, moms supporting each other. We are real-life moms, navigating the beautifully messy and chaotic journey of motherhood—just like you.

I’d Love to Hear from You!

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. - If you have any questions or you’re just curious to know how is the relationship between my 14-year-old son and my husband, feel free to leave a comment on this article. Let me know if you’d like me to share more about our story.